Its Sunday afternoon after my youngest son’s birthday. We’ve spent the day assembling Lego kits, napping and watching a couple movies. Its my older son’s turn to pick, so he chooses Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium.
If you have never seen it, its a wonderful family movie starring Dustin Hoffman about an eccentric shop owner who is the curator of a magical toy store. He’s decided to pass on the store to Mahoney, his store manager (played by Natalie Portman). Before he makes the transition final, he hires an accountant – which he affectionately refers to a ‘mutant’ – to dig through years of receipts and records to see exactly what the store is worth.
Mahoney does not get along with mutant. Mutant is a buttoned-up, grey suit-wearing bean-counter type who is oblivious to the fact that the store is magic. He lives in the world of hard data, tax codes, ledger books, rules, and bottom lines.
Mahoney is a creative, a free-spirited musician at heart who understands the store and the magic it emulates. She lives in the world of ‘what if’ and ‘why not’ and does not try to reduce the magic she sees everyday in the store to something that can be quantified or explained away.
There is a scene in the movie where Mutant and Mahoney are tersely discussing the store’s books when Mutant refers to the magic emporium as ‘just a toy store.’ Meanwhile, a skeletal model of a dinosaur chases a Frisbee behind him, which he never seems to notice. Mahoney looks at him and says “So you’re a ‘just’ guy?” referring to his limited observation of the magic all around him. This got me thinking.
I have been – and certainly can be – a ‘just’ guy. Some personal examples:
- Dreaming is just for kids, eventually we all need to grow up
- I just need to be harder on myself so I can be more successful
- I just need to do this for another few years then I can start giving more time to myself and family
- If I just work harder, sooner or later I will be noticed for the value I deliver
- I just need to show up, emotionally detach from your job and go home
- If I just lose 20 lbs, I will like myself more
- He’s just a kid, he wont notice if I break a promise
- I just need to learn to be content in my situation
Granted, its a movie for kids, of which I am a sucker for (I almost cried during ‘How to Train Your Dragon’). But I think it holds lessons for us grownups as well. If anything, its a reminder to keep your mind flexible and beliefs about what is possible wide open. Plus it keeps life a helluva lot more interesting.
You Never Really Know When Your Moments of Perspective Will Show Up
I heard one of the best statements of all this last week. I was listening to a webinar on marketing consulting (my core business) by a guy named John Mendocha and he was retelling lessons learned during his years of consulting. He made this statement:
“We’re all on a giant rock hurling through space at a million miles an hour, and nobody is in charge.”
John made this point referring to the truth that there really aren’t any rules in the marketing consulting business. You can make up your own rules, your own rates, your own ways of doing business. His statement has stuck with me nearly every day since I have heard it. For me it was gaining of a ginormous moment of perspective – I have used it effectively to instantly combat and unstick myself from rigid ways of thinking.
In fact, You really never know at one point you’re going to hear, see or read something that is going to act as a bridge between where you are today and where you’re supposed to be tomorrow. That’s why you and I need to be always reading, learning, asking questions and trying new stuff.
It reminded me that there really are no hard fast and rules of life, either. No one MUST get that 2500 square foot house with a fat mortgage in that prominent suburb. No one has to drive a new car. No one has to play the corporate game. My kids don’t have to go to a traditional school (homeschooling is a very effective alternative). You get the idea. There is no spoon (Matrix). There are a lot less rules than you think there are.
Painful but Useful Lessons From the Housing Crash
One of the best examples I have of challenging entrenched ways of thinking is from the 2008 housing crash. The crash and subsequent recession has woken a lot of us out of a trance, and trances generally suck in my experience.
Pre-recession, all of my waking days were spent trying to pay for a house that I really thought I wanted but really could not afford. Talk about a walking stress-ball. I was angry all the time, my family suffered. I suffered. We eventually ended up selling the house for thousands less than what we owed. We loved the house and the friends and family who lived close to us. It was a hard time for us.
But hindsight is 20/20. The entire experience woke me up out of a stupor. The property I was so determined to own was nothing more than a prison dressed up to look like home. Laboring monthly year after year to pay for this place that needed another $50,000 of work before it was officially ‘finished’ and we did not even use half of it on a regular basis. I was in love with what my house would have looked like when it was all completed. Talk about living for tomorrow and not today.
Many people I talk to today are experiencing similar situations and subsequent wake-up calls. They’re abandoning old ways of thinking about what their lives are supposed to look like compared to their neighbor’s, and they’re loving it.
New businesses are being born. Ambitions that have been stuffed for years are now getting dusted off and talked about. Big homes and expensive stuff does not seem to hold the attraction it once did. People are realizing that there is more to life than working 70 hours per week for a company that wouldn’t blink an eye to lay them off tomorrow. Maybe this is you?
What would happen if you did not have to make half of the salary you make today because you don’t have to maintain a bunch of stuff? What would be so wrong with taking 2 months off to travel with your kids to all the National Parks? What if you moved into a smaller house so you could pay off some debt and have more income to invest in experiences? What if?
Folks, all we have is this moment right here. I know it sounds corny and cliche, but the longer I am alive the more I see how true this is. Nothing else is guaranteed.
If you have been waiting for ‘just the right time’ to begin that business idea, or taking that trip, or downsizing your house so you can upsize your life, don’t wait. Plan it, do it and come back and tell us about it (we all need inspiration).
Until then, stay unruly.
